BK Sister Shivani’s powerful quote that’s an excellent relationship tip: “The first person you love…”

Renowned spiritual teacher and motivational speaker from the Brahma Kumaris (BK), Sister Shivani has touched many lives with her calm yet practical wisdom. Through her talks, books, and TV series, she not only simplifies deep spiritual concepts but also give practical advices that can help transform your marriage and inter-relationships.Today, relationships and marriages are often defined by expectations and attachments which often leads to disappointments and unhappiness. However, in this quote Sister Shivani offers a simple yet deep truth about the secret to lasting marriages and relationships. She says, “The first person you have to love is yourself. Then you can love others.” This quote teaches us that genuine love begins from within. Here’s how:How Sister Shivani’s quote is an excellent relationship tipFor some, Sister Shivani’s quote may sound selfish, but it’s deeply spiritual. She explains that most relationship problems happen when people look to others to fill their inner emptiness and sadness. What they often forget is that they don’t need other’s approval or validation to be happy in life. Doing so, one unknowingly gives away control over their life. On the contrary, by learning to love oneself first, a person becomes emotionally strong, stable, and secure. Remember, self-love isn’t selfish. When we love ourselves first, we radiate positivity and true happiness which naturally shows in our inter-relationships and transforms them too.Why self-love is key for healthy relationshipsAs per Sister Shivani, love is not something we receive, instead, it is something we create within. When we tend to ourselves through meditation, reflection, and positive thoughts, our mind becomes calm. This inner peace helps us love others unconditionally without expecting anything in return. But, when we neglect ourselves emotionally, we depend on others to make us feel valued and loved, and when this expectation isn’t met, it causes misunderstandings and fights.Self-love helps us let go of ego, jealousy, and insecurity, which are some of the main causes of stress in relationships. Loving ourselves first gives us the strength to forgive, communicate with compassion, and accept people as they are– all of which help create loving and lasting bonds.What does loving yourself truly meanLoving yourself, as per Sister Shivani, means treating your mind with kindness— choosing good thoughts, maintaining healthy boundaries, and respecting your emotions. It means letting go of guilt, forgiving yourself for past mistakes, and believing that you are worthy of love without needing to prove it.When you reach that point of inner harmony, your relationships automatically improve. You stop expecting people to change and start accepting them with compassion. That’s when true love flows which is unconditional, peaceful, and lasting.Sister Shivani’s quote which is message for modern relationshipsIn today’s fast-paced world, where stress, ego clashes, and digital distractions strain emotional connections, Sister Shivani’s quote serves as a reminder that love is not about possession or control— it’s about understanding and balance. Her wisdom invites everyone to pause, turn inward, and build a strong foundation of self-love before seeking love from others.Because when you love yourself first, you don’t chase love— you become love. And that is the kind of energy that truly heals relationships and marriages.